How does a trauma survivor choose their therapist?

There are many people who believe that you can “just move on” from the trauma, or “just let it go”.

It can often be very difficult for a person to just start talking about their history. For starters, there needs to be a good background support system in place. If the client is going to “go there”, then do you have the people around you to support you? How do they start talking to a complete stranger about things that may stir up big emotions or memories? Whilst they go and see a trained professional, they are still ultimately strangers. If their trust has been hurt, then how do they put your trust in this person sitting opposite you?

What I would like you to know is that when working with a trauma survivor, they don’t have to start talking about everything. The therapeutic relationship is one that builds up over time and one that goes at a pace that feels safe and supportive. It is a relationship whereby trust needs to be built and respect provided for this process to occur. The process may go outside of the Medicare subsidised ten sessions.

The client is the customer. Whether a GP offers the client a referral to a specific therapist, the client is entitled to choose their own therapist and find one that they feel safe and supported with. This can often feel challenging and can add to the already tricky feelings and thoughts they may be having. With this in mind, I have provided specific points to consider when a cleint is seeking out the best trauma therapist for them:

· Have a list of questions prepared for your first session such as:

o How much experience does the counsellor have?

o What kind of framework/approach does the counsellor use?

o What availability does the counsellor have?

o How much are sessions?

o Is there any availability to talk between sessions?

· Have a list of your own questions that you can reflect on and ask yourself after the initial sessions with the counsellor such as:

o Does the therapist/counsellor ‘force’ you to talk about the trauma?

o Are they really listening to me?

o Do I feel that I can be honest with them if I don’t feel comfortable about something?

o How does the therapist act/respond when I tell them something ‘big,’ powerful, details about trauma, that I have suicidal or self-harming thoughts?

o Did the therapist talk a lot about themselves?

o Did the therapist give me physical space, ask my permission about physical space in the room, or ask if I want to leave/enter the room after her/him?

o Did they ask you how much trauma-informed educational information you would like?

o Did they ask you what your goals for counselling are or what you are hoping to achieve by attending counselling sessions?

o If you are on medication, how did they react or respond?

o How did the pace of the session feel to you?

o Did you come out of the session feeling like you wanted more; wanted to make another time?

o Do you feel that you will be given the time to open up under your time frame rather than the therapist’s?

Whilst this list is not exhaustive, it can hopefully offer a few ideas to think about. Remember that therapy is not a process whereby you just sit down and start talking about everything. It is important to be provided with a space where even if your mind and body is giving you normal emotional and physiological feelings and thoughts, that you are given that therapeutic space that can gently, non-judgmentally, and compassionately support you to find the goals you are seeking.